this is an hour i used to know well... by the time it would be 3am or so... i figured i had about another 1 1/2 hours left in me to work. i haven't been up at this hour for quite some time. tonight, i went to bed about 10pm. couldn't keep my eyes open. i was awakend by quincy climbing in bed with me, and me realizing i have a horrible tummy ache. i should just let myself throw up and be done with it... but instead i am trying to think of something that might calm it. so i came to surf a little on the internet... and ended up on jenni bowlin's site. (this is the papercrafting kit that has my stuff in it! ) i think you can pretty much chalk it up to my pregnant emotions that i can hardly control... but it totally made me cry! i think for 2 reasons really.... 1. i am so happy for jenni! she is following her heart... taking a risk and doing something that she believes in. she is freakishly talented... and such a gorgeous person. 2. she included some of my products in her kit for feb., and i think that seeing her (and faye) use my stuff in such a stunning way... kindof was both a thrill and a little jolt of acceptance. it's hard to explain the emotions i feel when i see my products in use on pages... it shouldn't have such an effect on me... i mean, i have been designing product for years. and when it was 'making memores' product... i certainly was happy to see it used... but for some odd reason... it feels really different now. maybe because it started from nothing. maybe because it has my name on it. maybe because it is a result of so much work, risk, frustration and determination by so many people.
who knows... maybe i just needed a good crY! sometimes you do! but i am overwhelmed right now, with tremendous feelings of graditude... so grateful for the opportunity i have had to prove this to myself...my biggest critic! ... so grateful for kevin carpenter, pres. of advantus.. cause he really did/does believe in me! even when i tell him i am OUT OF IDEAS! which is what i told him when he signed me! ...so tremendously grateful for the support of the people around me...eric, em, jodi, liz, my children, mine and eric's family, and my next door neighbor that probably sees more of my kids than she cares to! ... so grateful, and tremendously humbled when people tell me that i have connected with them, inspired them and how much they enjoy what i do. my list goes on, and on and on and on...............................
so thank you jenni. for making my stuff look so good! and making me cry! i needed that...
i wish you all the best in your endeavor! thank you jared, for encouraging her, lifting her and extending her capabilities! (not that jared is reading this blog... but man, husbands make or break this stuff!)
by the way...since i'm already crying, and it's 4:30am...and i am talking about how grateful i am... there is someone i must celebrate today. i could not survive with out emily waters. she has got to be the hardest working, most dedicated and determined person i know. i believe it was she that got me my job at MM, and she has been with me almost from the very beginning of the heidi swapp brand. she threw all caution to the wind, and moved here...started a whole new life because she believed in me. she is such a true and loyal friend to me and my family. she would do anything for me... and does. today is emily waters' birthday. (man, she is going to be mad at me for putting this on my blog!) i could never express my love and graditude to her for all that she has done. believe me when i tell you, i don't make anything easy! her email address is: [email protected] if you'd like to wish her a happy day!
well, the pretzels have helped to calm my stomach. but i am wide awake... i think i will write in my journal!
Hope you feel better by the time you read this Heidi and that you got some sleep!
Kip
Posted by: Kip | February 11, 2006 at 05:01 AM
am off to send miss em some birthday wishes - what a tremendous friend she is...and you too for your beautiful tribute-what lucky girls you are! so what do you get a girlfriend that has everything??
Posted by: laura t. | February 11, 2006 at 06:14 AM
Be proud Heidi, you inspire a lot of wonderful things by your amazing products :)))))
Posted by: Elizabeth Munro | February 11, 2006 at 06:16 AM
Heidi - first of all, woman, you rock! I know we don't know each other well, but I can tell you that from the moment I saw your first layouts at Memory Lane and subsequent HOF stuff I knew deep in my heart that you were going to do BIG things! And here you are - with your own brand - your own product under YOUR name. It must feel surreal some days, but all I can say is I know dozens of women who wait with bated breath for what you are coming out with next! Your products are recognizable on a layout and make ANYone's work look even better. I admit, when I was working on my HOF entry (which I did not finish btw), I had to keep holding myself back from using too much HS product! I wanted it on every layout! Everything I did seemed like it needed a little "Heidi" on it! It's easy to use, FUN to use and downright cool. So, thank you! Thank you for sharing YOUR talent and vision with US! Smooches girl!
Posted by: Ally | February 11, 2006 at 07:03 AM
Reading your blog this morning brought back such memories. I just gave birth to our third girl, and reading you say how you used to stay up so late, and now you are in bed by 10pm, brought me down memory lane to the early months of my pregnancy. Like you I was a night owl and did all my scrapbooking once the kids were in bed. But once I became pregnant with the third child, I was falling asleep getting them to bed it was so aweful. I hope soon I can reclaim my night owl status, but so far no such luck.
Posted by: angela | February 11, 2006 at 07:09 AM
Jenni's stuff rocks. I tihnk you love and believe in your brand so when you see some one use it in such a beautiful way it validates the whole reaon you started to make yor own prducts. Koodos to you and Jen. Hope you are feeling better.
Posted by: Vee | February 11, 2006 at 07:26 AM
=) Sometimes you just gotta cry. Jenni is crazy creative (like you) and I totally understand how you could get teary looking at your product used so well!
Take care and have a very happy weekend!!! =)
Posted by: May | February 11, 2006 at 09:40 AM
Heidi- YOU ROCK!!! You are an inspiration to so many people...you gotta know that.
btw...try hard pretzels dipped in mustard. YUM!!!
hugs-
Peg
Posted by: Peg Graham | February 11, 2006 at 10:07 AM
I totally agree what you said about Jenni Bowlin! Hope your able to catch up on your lost sleep! Plus...I send your friend an email b-day wish!...Anita
Posted by: Anita Hiltz | February 11, 2006 at 10:17 AM
Way to follow your dreams, Heidi, and inspire bazillions of people along the way. You make the world a little brighter with your engery and optimism!
Posted by: nicole | February 11, 2006 at 10:54 AM
Oh Heidi...number one I feel for ya on the upset tummy. All 3 of my kids just got over a stomach bug and I've been fighting it every step of the way when we all know it's just easier if you just let it take it's course
and number two every one of your posts on your blogs inspires me to reach for greater heights in my scrapbooking career. I don't own my own line like you but I've broken into teaching to others and now I'm opening my own store so who knows where that will take me. Every day you remind us how important it is to be humble and thankful.
Way to go!
Annette
Posted by: annette | February 11, 2006 at 11:47 AM
I stayed up all night to subscribe to Jenni's kit club...I always love her work, so I'm hyped up about her club! Just wanted to say that I also think it's cool that you're so excited about people using your stuff. Believe me, there are a lot of us are just as excited to BE using them! :) I have one whole IKEA box (and I only have 9 boxes of goodies) just for HS stuff!
Posted by: Arika | February 11, 2006 at 11:48 AM
Congratulations, Heidi!!!
I know that you don't know me, but I am thrilled that you are expecting again. You are an amazing woman with a fantastic career and business.
Can't wait to see you what your lo's look like..........
Linda
Posted by: Linda Matthews | February 11, 2006 at 11:55 AM
Hey Girl.
You got to get some sleep.
So funny you talked about MM, I remember Cku in Provo, where you , Em, and Robin, were together, and I was in you class and wanted to win one of those TIN's so bad, and You made that happen.... and I totally Flipped out So funny.
You know how much I think you and your stuff ROCKS... So keep it comming.
Take care of your self and that little one.
helle
Posted by: Helle Greer | February 11, 2006 at 12:04 PM
AHHHHHHHHHH sweetie.:)
I remember those days ( nights!!!) well.
Loved reading about Jenni. and EM!!
I totally get the love you have for Em.
I have my own version of Em. and i couldnt be without her.
celebrate your girlfriends!!
be well.
Ngai
xxxx
Posted by: Ngaire | February 11, 2006 at 02:12 PM
OHHH Heidi,
i have just cried with you. You have such a way with words and you are a truely amazing person. I am totally IN LOVE with all of you products and i cant get enough of them. Keeping them on the shelf at work is another thing as well..
I hope you are feeling much beter today. Get some rest and take care you!!!!!
Sarah
I am off to email Emily
Posted by: Sarah | February 11, 2006 at 04:42 PM
you are such a lovely person. The world is a better place for you being in it that is for sure. Not only are you extremly clever, but you have a beautiful heart. i hope you are feeling alot better - and i agree a good cry is what we need sometimes. Take care
Posted by: chanel | February 11, 2006 at 05:36 PM
it is so refreshing to see someone so successful and so admired really stop and be overwhelmed - its a sign of genuine humility - and often times in this world people aren't as humble as they ought to be. You're a good one, Heidi Swapp!
Happy Birthday Em!
Posted by: Kass | February 11, 2006 at 06:29 PM
love your gratitude towards people, heidi. you are such an amazing person, and your product is THE BEST & it sells so well!! i was putting a layout up in the store yesterday and i was writing up a little card to put next to it on what i used so the customers would know... i couldn't believe how much 'heidi swapp' was written on that card for just one layout!! label holders, photo corners, decorative tape, index tabs, chipboard shapes... the list went on and on. :) feel proud, you should be!!
Posted by: Melissa H | February 11, 2006 at 07:16 PM
Yes, we all need a good cry. You inspire us all...even when you share your real and human side. :)
4:30 am? Naughty girl. I've been staying up WAY too late for too many nights lately and feel sick and so over-exhausted and realizing that I'm just too old to keep pushing it. Ugh. I HATE that we have to sleep. But sleep we must.
Have a great week...
T.
Posted by: teri f | February 11, 2006 at 08:23 PM
You are such a sweetheart! I don't even know you and I want to give you a big hug. I wish that one day I do get to meet you as you and your blog and your products have all really touched me, inspired me, and allowed me to be as creative as I can be. I love all your stuff and am glad that you continue to do what you do! So Thank you for all you do for the scarpbooker in me!!
I also hope that you feel better :)
Kelly
Posted by: Kelly Angell | February 11, 2006 at 08:42 PM
Soooo happy to hear your tummy settled down & cooperated! Man how I remember being up in the middle of the night when I was preggo also....God's way of getting us ready for those middle of the night feedings I suppose. I will def. wish Emily dear a happy birthday. I see pics of you two together in your layouts and it makes me happy you have someone like her in your life even though I secretly wish I could be her sometimes!! ;-)
Posted by: Jana | February 11, 2006 at 10:30 PM
Well, i am another person you have totally inspired. I too have to use a little bit of heidi on almost EVERY page.....you total inspire us all and don't you forget it!
Go get some sleep now! :)
Posted by: tracy | February 12, 2006 at 08:08 AM
-very SWEET-, you never forget to be grateful, it's that inner beauty that shows so HUGE in your smile!
girlfriends-i couldn't live w/o mine-i am truly blessed too! I thought em was great @ cku-a in stamford, "she" adores you & your family too (she beams when she talks about your kids)!
Enjoy!
-p
Posted by: patty | February 12, 2006 at 11:44 AM
Hey beautiful you know how I feel about you!! Reading this makes me cry I have no words to describe how you inspire me to follow my dreams. Trully you are a blessing. I will be wishing Emily a very happy Birthday!! Hugs Wanda
Posted by: Wanda E. Santiago | February 12, 2006 at 02:52 PM