still me

happy halloween!

So I am a big fan of Halloween.
It’s always a huge stress to get all the costumes together, and somehow juggle all the fall carnivals, parties, trunk or treat events and colton’s birthday into everyday life. that is what this weekend was all about. Friday night cory had a Halloween party… then sat. morning I taught a clock class at scrapbooks etc… eric took quincy to daddy daughter campout over night… and when we all got home, we had to decorate the car, make chili for the cook-off and get all of us in serious  make up and costume, complete with tattoos and fake eye-lashes, which incidentally is my FAVORITE part of Halloween (false eye-lashes). By the time we got to the party, we are all sweating our make up off, and I managed to spill a bunch of chili on the floor of the car- and well- that didn’t exactly add to the party-spirit! (sigh-will I NEVER learn to put a towel under ANY food I transport in the vehicle????????? can you tell this is a sore spot in our marriage?)  well, despite the chaotic beginning, the kids has a great time. and, eric and I did as well. we love the excuse to dress up! that wig of mine has now been through a few costumes! lol. The stress translated in less than fantastic photos, but at least we have some documentation of the effort.  We will have to get dressed up again on Tuesday, so I will need to make more of an effort in the photography department…

Here is a little peek at the clock face that I did as another example of what you can do on the inside of a clock…I have so much fun with these! I have been needing a good excuse to use this cutie basic grey paper. if you need an awesome Christmas gift idea, try a clock! (this is all that would fit on my scanner…)

I have to send a BIG thanks out to my little sister Katie, who is currently in Tokyo with her husband… they went over to represent me at the first every CKU in JapaN! Sounds like everything went great, and she has had a great time touring around with Ali Edwards, Anita Oldham, Rusty Pickle Lance and Tracy White…sounds like I am missing quite an adventure! Thanks Clark and Katie!! You guys are the best!
And while I am sending out thank you’s….i can’t thank you all enough for the sweet comments and emails that I have rec’d in reference to my last blog post. I think it further reinforces the similarities between all of us!
I am looking forward to my Monday morning! I am going to write a week’s worth of to-do’s and goals… and hope for a wildly productive and happy week! Gasp… this week begins NOVEMBER! yikes

choices.

It’s almost midnight, and I totally have a stomach ache and a headache, and I think a sore throat too.  It’s probably all resulting from the popcorn intake at the drive-in. maybe I can’t blame the sore throat on that. It was colton’s birthday party tonight. we had 11 kids, and the cool part is that- get this- 11 & under are free at the drive-in. chuckle. Good deal. Here, it started out at 81 degrees and dipped to a chilly 77 degrees as we were loading up to come home. You gotta love that about AZ this time of year! we had a good time. the kids loved it and MOST important… colton felt that it was a great party. I am glad that he was happy. It’s fun to see the changes, and growth in your children. Don’t you think? I have seen some changes in him that I really like. Capri has brought out a softness in him that I didn’t really ever see before. It’s caused such different disposition in him.  It’s funny how just one person’s attitude in a family can effect the dynamics of everyone. As I sit and contemplate his life…and HIM, as an individual… I marvel at the last nine years.  I compare the kind of mother I was with colton as an infant compared to how I am now with Capri. In almost a decade, I have changed and grown significantly myself.  I can remember quite vividly the feelings I had as colton was handed to me, and we were released from the hospital. I had the “you really think I can take care of this human?” attitude with the nurses. I couldn’t have felt less capable, or qualified to be his care-taker. I can remember the thrill of each milestone and the pride that I felt in being a mother. The next two were a bit of a blur I am sad to say.  The pace of my life increased with 2 more little ones, and along with the birth of cory and the arrival of quincy, it was more of a ‘sink or swim’ mentality than ‘confidence and experience’ approach. 3 little kids close together had an intensity that nothing else really compares to- at least not that I have experienced. And because of that intensity, the learning curve and the experience gained up until this point…having a new baby again is simply the sweetest, most pure and precious experience of my life. not because I love this child any more than the others… because I feel like my love for the older children has been magnified with the arrival of this little one- but because I have a totally different perspective now.  I am so thankful for the wisdom, knowledge and experience I have gained up until this point.  I am so thankful for the calm and confidence I feel with Capri, as a result of that learning. But above all, I am thankful for the piece of heaven that Capri brings into our home.  It’s something I remember feeling when we brought Colton home. 9 years ago. 
I am a very different person than I was 9 years ago.
It makes me wonder how the changes in a woman, over the course of years that she bears/rears children, influences/impacts the outcome of the individual children.
I mentioned that we took the kids camping last weekend- and how happy they were- and how happy I was that it made them so happy!  When I see my kids out playing with each other and their friends…it makes me happy. And I think that it’s totally natural for all parents to wish and hope for happiness for their children.
Today- as I was rushing around doing my thing, Saturday stuff… normal life necessities, shopping, laundry, cleaning etc…I was in a good mood. Not for any particular reason- and Colton said to me: ‘you seem happy mom. I sure like it when you are happy’. This simple statement, accompanied by a hug around my waist and a very sincere smile, made me realize…that just as much as we hope and wish for our children’s happiness, I believe they wish for ours.  Similarly, I have that desire for my parents. I know I like it when my folks are happy too.  My point in all of this… on this night that 9 years ago- my life changed forever as I became a mother, is that a happy woman is a better mother. A better wife.  A better friend.  And as a woman… the time, and effort you invest in your own happiness- remembering to love yourself, and be careful with yourself- benefits all those around you. 
I am not always happy. I am critical and judgmental of myself. I have high expectations of myself, and don’t cut myself a lot of slack.  i am my own worst enemy… I don’t dwell on my strengths, or focus on my accomplishments… but instead tend to beat myself up about where I fell short, and how I am weak.
You know that I love that ‘she’ book by Kobi Yamada… and I read it all the time because of the strength I find there, and the way it helps me imagine the kind of woman I am striving to become.  Anyway, I picked it up again today when I was cleaning up around my studio, and the quote that stood out to me today was:
 “she was kind, loving and patient…with herself”
(in the book, the word “patient” is written larger than everything else)
I share all this because I believe that we are much more similar than we are different.
And just to remind myself, that happiness is powerful. Effective. Contagious. 
And it’s a choice.

registration is open!

I am so excited.. I just got an email from stacy julian telling me that my class is UP and ready for registration on Big Picture Scrapbooking!  I am just sitting here, working on part of the “welcome package” that students will receive the end of January… I am creating a bunch of cool exclusive product for this class… I saw a bit of it today even… prototypes. It’s a thrill… I have been working on the monthly pages, challenges and ideas, and it just makes me happy. Gives me so much to think about. If you go to bigpicturescrapbooking.com, you can read the rather-long class description and you can also download an 11minute thing that I recorded to try to explain what the ‘year to remember class’ will be about. I am excited that it’s up finally…we have been working very hard to get all the ‘logistics’ worked out. students will receive 4 different packages throughout the year, with different products and surprises… originally we weren’t going to limit the number of participants that we were allowing… but since we are providing ‘kits’ and we will be sending stuff out, we had to pick a number- so there is a cap.

Other than that… lots going on around here… parent teacher conferences this week… it was fun to talk to the teachers about the kids. My kids LOVE school…and I am SO glad!
My running shoes are awesome and making a BIG difference in my training! I am running in the mornings, and doing a short afternoon/evening walk with the kids riding their bikes, and giving Capri stroller rides. The temps in AZ this time of year are devine.
It’s Colton’s 9th b-day this weekend, and to celebrate we are taking a bunch of kids to the drive-in to see ‘open season’…it’s the 2nd annual drive-in birthday party! So much fun. I love going to the drive-in. I totally remember doing that when I was little. We would get dressed in our pajamas and take sleeping bags and pillows, and my dad let us watch the movie on the roof of the station wagon.  You pay by the car-load and you can bring in outside food. It’s perfect. colton is excited. Capri is totally ‘cooing’. It’s the sweetest thing to listen to, to have little conversations with her.  She is growing too fast. And I am NOT taking enough photos. You’d think I would be better at that.  Ok, it’s 11:15 and I have to get up EARLY if I want to get a run in. I had a short this morning, so tomorrow I am bumping up my mileage just a bit.  I am trying to remind myself that muscle weighs more than fat as I am not seeing any results on the scales. (not feeling results in the clothing department either)… this month has flown by. I need to go pick out a Halloween costume tomorrow. I want to be something SCARY!  Also, tomorrow- we have our first official ‘creative escape 2007’ meeting with the ‘executive committee’ over at Bazzill. (already!?) already we have so many ways that we are going to improve for next year, starting to detail the class categories and starting to get the teacher line up in place. –all top secret for now!
Ok- seriously, good night.

what's up

so I just went and bought some new running shoes. I am excited. I went with asics again… I always try on a bunch of different shoes, made by different manuf. and then I always end up with asics. I have them on right now… breaking them in. guess what: they are pink. (well, white – with pink and black – they had my name written all over them!)
I also got a new pink watch. It’s not a trendy, cutie watch- it’s more functional like for timing intervals, stop watch and it even keeps time for 2 time zones… perfect for when eric is traveling in china. I love it. it was on clearance! My body is still struggling with the ‘body-transformus-back-itis’; characterized by extra pounds, continued cravings, aches, bags under the eyes and perpetual tiredness… and the baby is almost 10 weeks. i find myself wondering if I will ever feel normal again!?! Takes time I guess!
Well, that is not all I have been “up to!”  … this week was the memory trends trade show in las vegas… the show thing is stressful. This time, we had a small and simple release…so it wasn’t too bad!  it is fun to see all my friends in the industry… good time to have meetings, talk about opportunities and imagine what the future holds… I am so very lucky to have such wonderful people on my team- I mean REALLY on my team. People who believe in me, more than I believe in myself. none of my crazy imaginations would go anywhere without them. it’s stunning to think about all that we have accomplished and learned. today I received a package containing several pieces of our CHA winter release… (already!?) always so FUN to see the stuff I have been imagining come to life.  and the perpetual cycle continues as I am busily working on designs for CHA summer.  Quite a ride really.  here are some quick shots of MT. i never take as many photos as i would like. i get way too distracted. so KARA... i don't know where you were during this photo. but... left to right: Stephanie Sassoville and Nichole Smith both work in Florida at Advantus as brand support... they are awesome and so great to work with! then Janet Hopkins- lives in Dallas, and just came on as Education Coordinator... and you know Em.  if you want to see me being a total dork talking about our new release, you can see it on Monique Mclean's blog...   they made me to this little podcast, and it's actually kinda funny! thanks Monique for making my new calendar the "favorite find".

Speaking of QUITE a RIDE!!!..... it was the kids’ fall break Thursday and Friday, and being at the show all week, I was experiencing a large dose of ‘mommy guilt’. I really wanted to come up with something fun that we could do that would be fun and memorable for the kids. Fall is finally the time that people can actually spend time outside, so we decided to go camping. I gave the green-light to getting some motorized vehicles.  I have been the party-pooper on getting the boys into dirt biking. (it scares me). I mean, my boys are crazy enough on bicycles…I have been very hesitant to put a turbo engine on the backs of their bikes enabling them to ride farther, faster and jump higher. (can you blame me!?)  however, it’s in their blood… it’s inevitable. We rented 2 quads and 2 little 50’s (dirt bikes) and headed out for an adventure. And ADVENTURE we found. We live right in Saguaro National Forest. (Saguaro Cactus are the big tall cactus with the big arms… the ones straight out of the Road Runner and Wylie Coyote cartoons). Spectacular really… it’s the most unique, rugged, and beautiful desert anywhere (in my opinion).  We drove about an hour or so east of our home, and back in where there are just miles and miles of off-road trails. This was the first time the boys were on dirt bikes, although it’s been their dreams since they were 3 and 4 years old… maybe earlier. I was nervous… but they both did GREAT!  Eric has been in the scouting program for the last 8 or so years, so he has every piece of camping equipment known to man…the cool thing about camping, is that when the sun goes down, it feels like you should be in bed! The kids were so tired… so we were all tucked into our sleeping bags around 9pm and I slept like a log. (I can sleep anywhere, and usually don’t hear a thing). eric wasn’t quite as lucky- he was in ‘protective dad mode’ and heard every car, stereo and bike that drove by. Let’s put it this way, we weren’t the only ones with the bright idea to go camping for the weekend. This morning, after breakfast we went for a long ride and we all had a blast. i heard the boys saying to each other “wasn’t this the best day of your life?”… they loved every minute. I think that so much of my attention has bee focused on the little baby, that it was so great to spend time focused on the older kids, doing something they really wanted to do! I think it gave me some newly found leverage!

kinda cool!

first, thanks to all the kind words and comments left on my blog.. i told allison that she needed to come and read all the compliments on her work. i quite adore allison... she is amazing.  and you are all right, it will be very difficult to pick which ones... i am loving the one w/ colton pointing at the camera..
i have to show you this.. this is the photo that i took after i took allison's photography class at memory lane a million years ago... (seems like it...) i am trying to remember... i think it was 2001. (k, why does 5 years ago feel SO LONG AGO???) anyway, i was a proud peacock when i took this photo here... i knew allison would be proud! it's eric and my all-time-favorite!  well, when allison was at the house that day, he asked her to capture a current photo, same idea. how cute. i love it. you really can see their personalities, then and now!

ok, so i just got this in my in-box, and i was thinking it was so cool for breast cancer awareness month..
did you see it?

well, this is a kit that Lisa put together using my product line for QVC. it's an "all about me" book.. and it is organized that you can follow this totally clear, laid out step-by-step booklet, (or you can do your own thing)... the pieces are totally kitted page by page, so it's SO easy and SO quick and SO fun to create..
well, i guess they are selling off some extra stock...and i guess you buy it from Creating Keepsakes online.. but it's the whole thing for only $15. i love the box that it comes with for the little album to sit in!  my good friend, kristy bailey bought it and she created it and is having her 17 year old daughter fill it in... it goes through all kinds of things, and you can totally see it all on Lisa's website... but what a great idea... great christmas gift for our daughters... daughters of any age really! what an awesome keepsake to look back and know all this stuff about yourself as a teenager... i loved that idea. but i am totally temped to do it for quincy. it's such a cute kit. if you want to see more, go to LisaBearnson.com.  they are trying to raise 100,000$! wow.. can you imagine if they hit that! SO AWESOME!  it's a win-win... check into it!

stunning stuff

so while i was gone, allison tyler jones sent me the link to my very own gallery and slide show of some of the most beatuiful shots of my kidos! i have to share, i am not sure how long the link will be active.
i can remember, back many moons ago when i took a photography class from allison at memory lane, she mentioned that there are just some photos of your kids that you have to enlarge as big as you can so that you always remember how much you love them, even when they are driving you nuts! i could take any one of these... Swapp kIds photo show

inspired!

Inspiration is really quite magical.
It’s funny-and the people who are closest to me know this best, but there are times, every so often, that I totally feel like I creatively BONK. Nothing. No ideas. And pretty much, I figure that I am out of ideas forever--and.that I have had my last good idea, and I am completely tapped out. At this point, the cycle has happened enough times, that it’s clear to EVERYONE but me, that I am just in one of my ‘slumps’.  I have to make conscious efforts to find inspiration. As long as I am totally focused on new product, or a new class, or show ideas-they seem to come. That is why my ‘inspiration trips’ are so critical. Sure, it sounds like fun…shopping, driving up the beautiful calif coast, eating in cute little cafes and staying in charming, coastal inns… but it’s really a ton of work, and we simply had our noses to the grindstone!! (who am I trying to kid! LOL!!)
The trip totally rocked. I had such a great time. It had all the necessary ingredients for a perfect inspiration trip:
1. small agenda, but NO schedule.
2. open minds
3. packing LIGHT
4. creative people-easy going creativty
5. great shops- clever shops
6. a little familiarity(I didn’t totally get lost)

it was so fun to check out the shops in the little casual beachy towns, like balboa and hunington… then the contrast and similarities in the ritzy, glam shops of Santa Barbara ands Carmel.  We totally lucked out with our accommodations. We got to each of our overnight spots around midnight, so it was fun to wake up and see what it looked like! ~ so totally beautiful along the California coast. Carmel was my favorite. It’s so totally amazing.  We took Capri along, and she was an absolute angel. I wound up LOVING the metrowrap, for carrying Capri- and she loved it too.
Of course I can’t divulge any of my ‘top secret’ finds… but I am SO excited with where things are going next. I can’t wait! I can see it in my head, it’s so refreshing and exciting to have a jumpstart on the direction and a vision for the next release. Alright, well, I better not get the expectations up too high…
I think we only got one photo of all 5 of us. Me, em, liz and janet.
Janet Hopkins just came on board as our education coordinator. She is so awesome-and I am thrilled to have her insight and help. She has done a lot of teaching, designing classes, scrapbooking and is totally so organized and on top of things. The more people like that, that are surrounding me THE BETTER. Thanks for coming Janet… and of course, I appreciate all the em does for me, and for the brand. No one works like she does. And lastly, despite the fact that liz no longer works for the brand, it was great having her on board for the inspiration trip- I enjoy her insights and her thoughts.
And having the little angle Capri along- she was her own kind of inspiration! She is very inspiring.  As are all my children.
You know, it’s good to go away, just long enough to miss them. And for them to miss me. –so my last thanks goes to Eric, for understanding how much I need that. Escaping reality just enough to in fact, be inspired. He is a key part of my ‘team’.

this is my first-ever attempt at creating a photo collage in photo shop. for whatever reason, i am completely intimidated by photoshop... so don't judge me too harshly, i  was in a race against the lap top battery (em i need that cord back!) but, i have all these cutie photos that i thought woudl be fun to share...dang... that was a great trip!